it ain't easy being Green(ie)

Monday, November 27, 2006

Why This Man Could Build You a Deck

(now this is not the actual gentleman who inspired this debate he is a workable substitute)

while out with my great friend Amy (whilst she was still in this country.) we happened on a gentleman who looked much like this one. now the important fact, and one that my argument will hinge on is that we saw this person in line to see a rather sentimental kind of Emo band. this i think makes a big difference.
anyway lets get to the argument. i mentioned how this gentleman was quite attractive, and her response was one of agreement but she put forth the idea that he would be unable to build her a deck and was therefore not a suitable candidate for a relationship. now i completely understand her desire to not be involved with someone on the basis of deck building prowess, but i suggested that there was a chance that this fellow could in fact build her the structure that she desired. her hypothesis was based on the fact that he was a very well groomed person and that he was stylishly attired. now i certainly agreed with these two facts as i was initially the one who made the comment about him being attractive, but i proposed that these facts not automatically lead to her hypothesis. i first tried to defend the idea that his appearance made no promises, neither for nor against, his abilities as far as deck construction was concerned. for the remainder of our initial debate i took this position, a kind of human "you can't judge a book by it's cover" maxim. this line of discussion raged on as we waited for the doors of the venue to open and through a brief and somewhat awkward bit of flirting with an attractive young man in the line behind us. unfortunately by the time we had entered the performance space neither of us had budged on our ideas and when the opening band started to play we found ourselves united in the topic of how terrible their performance and lyrics were. by the end of the show our initial unresolved debate was forgotten and we moved on to the more exciting events planed for the evening.
but now i have a second line of argument that while i do not believe it will win the argument as Amy is vary head strong (and i believe enjoys debating against me regardless of her own personal beliefs). this new tactic centers on the important fact of where this encounter had taken place. as i said before we witnessed this person whilst waiting in line for a concert of a specifically aestheticed band, and i believe that this factor must be taken into account when looking at his abilities in reference to decks. i propose that because he was aware of the style of band he was about to enjoy as well as the attire that would be most appropriate for the event of a live musical performance no judgment can be made on his unrelated skills. i argue that he was dressed for this event uniquely and not in a position to display other talents he may have, especially ones that are not as broadly required (nor are easily displayed outwardly), such as deck construction. so, while i do not endeavor to make the argument that he certainly could build the deck that my friend desired, i do make the argument for the possibility of him to have such a skill. i propose that his general well groomed appearance at an event that prises this action makes no deceleration that he does or does not have skills of a more utilitarian nature.
of course i understand how the assumption could be made, and i would be entirely unsurprised if upon testing this gentleman he was in fact unable to construct the required deck. but i feel that just because there are others who both can not fulfill the request of a deck and maintain a similarly dandy-esque appearance does not establish that all who have this style have the same deficiencies.
in the end i wholeheartedly support my friend's demands for someone who is proficient in certain practical arts i believe she must discover a more accurate gauge, or testing criteria, before she can declare a potential suitor lacking in that skill.


Also i almost definitely could not build a deck, but i can bake you a cake.


At 9:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

rebuttal. part i.

there are a number of points i would like to address regarding greenie's thesis.
i would like to commence with idea that i was merely using the boy we saw in queue to assert once again to greenie that my high standards included someone who could build me a deck and this fair fellow did not look like he could.
part of my argument was simply staunch belligerence. this cannot be swayed. please refer to dr. stephen colbert's thesis on truthiness. crossreferences may be found on
from my visual evaluation, and also from talking to the fellow briefly, i ascertained that he could not build a deck. it was my own founded opinion and whether or not it may or may not be true, i was satisfied with myself enough not to date him.
i would like to point out that greenie was indeed at this moment a bit biased in defending this fair-boned gentleman as he found him attractive and wished that he was dimensional enough to have such said serendipitous handyman capacities. he campaigned his points emotionally, leading me to believe that he himself was actually more focused on getting nailed by him as opposed to his actual tactile skils with a hammer.
that being said, i am a relativist and do not condone absolutism in anyway. if the points i made at that time were unclear, i do apologise. it is true that in fact you cannot judge a person visually on whether or not he could build a deck. my impressions and preconceptions are however satisfactory enough for me distinguish between my dateables and my undateables.
to address greenie's seemingly new point in that perhaps this young man was dressed specifically for the angst ridden concert, yes this may be true, but i would argue that his presence alone at the concert in tandum with his very early and enthusiastic place in the queue would further lead me to believe that he lacks the skills in building decks and is much more attuned to print screening his own shirts and overanalysing myspace messages from girls named hillary.
furthermore, in order to clear up confusion, i will, from now on, ask all boys i am sleeping with the question in question.
to show my steadfastness to greenie and our unconditional friendship, i will ask said question "can you build a deck?" to my current new zealand lover whilst in the middle of the throes of passion. i hope this will clarify all points aforementioned.

At 5:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 6:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

rebuttal. part ii.

amy: i have a random question for you.
kiwi: i will be the judge of that.
amy: can you build a deck?
kiwi: of course.
amy: really?
kiwi: it's not hard, you know. you get some wood, even out the peices so they fit together, make sure it's level above ground, etc. i wouldn't make a good deck. but i could build one.
amy: fair enough.

kiwi: really, i'd just get someone else to do it. i love your ass.

At 10:37 AM, Blogger Greenie said...

just so we are clear the Kiwi quoted in the above text is not me. though i do agree that Amy has a nice ass

At 12:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the really important question here, the one i believe both of you are missing is this:

could amy build a deck? and if so, would she please build peter one too so they can both just date whomever they want without needing to pass judgement on their potential future partner's outward physical appearance. i mean, didnt we all have lincoln logs?

im just kidding. everyone knows women can't build decks!


At 11:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i will continue to unabashedly pass judgement on my future partner's physical appearance.

my reasons actually have much more to do with know-how, resourcefulness, how someone was raised, etc etc. it's difficult to argue intangible points so for all intents and purposes of blog confab, we have not really addressed them.

if i had to build a deck, i would. my skills are much more honed in moral support, however.

At 3:48 PM, Anonymous Dan said...

I swear to God there's a joke in this somewhere about Lincoln Logs and perversion...but I can't find it.


At 7:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

my first comment was going to be about lincoln logs, actually...


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